Elizabeth Scripturient (the delinquent, ecumenical (hermionesviolin) wrote,
Elizabeth Scripturient (the delinquent, ecumenical

"Is this the return to Oz?"

Today: Couldn't see blue in the sky, but it was still bright, almost blindingly so due to the fresh snow. Clearly i'm a freak; i did errands outside without a coat. And there was snow falling while i walked, almost unreal.

A Thousand Acres is more depressing than King Lear. And now that i've read it i wanna reread King Lear, in large part for the differences between the sisters. Except there's only so much time one wants to spend in the deep pit that is either of those narratives.

I just want to know what i'm doing next year. I keep planning things and then realizing that i don't even know if my circumstances will be such that those plans would make sense. And my current feeling is that i don't want to be in a PhD program next year, but i think that's my psyche reacting to the fact that i don't think i'll get in places. And yes i should just focus on all the work i have to do for the next two weeks, let the present be sufficient unto itself and all that, maybe meditate or something. I just feel everything so intensely recently. It may turn out that i'm hormonal, but that's not a helpful answer.

You know how... You get scared. Or worried, or nervous. And you don't want to be scared or worried or nervous, so you push it to the back of your mind. You try not to think about it. The limbic system is what lets you do that -- it's like a filter in your brain that keeps your feelings in check. They took that filter out of River. She feels everything. She can't not.
-Simon, in "Ariel"

I'm considering getting one of these icons.

Closing time
Open all the doors and let you out into the world
Closing time
You don't have to go home but you can't stay here
Closing time
Time for you to go out to the places you will be from
Closing time
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end
Tags: grad school (desires/plans), icons: made by others, smith: course: telling and retelling, weather: snow: 2004-2005

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