Am working through some structural changes on said fic.
The title steals from Eliot's "Prufrock," but the section headings are Biblical lines. Rereading "Prufrock" I'm surprised at how many sections of the poem fit the fic. Neither protagonist is much like Prufrock, though, so I'm wary of too obviously structuring the fic around that poem. The Biblical heading lines aren't all that important, and the one I'm really attached to can be worked into the fic itself (and I find myself thinking that this would actually make that particular section stronger). And this is probably an impossible question to respond to if you don't actually know the fic, but humor me?
Questions people are more likely to be able to help with:
Minimal rewriting could leave the end reveal a surprise to the reader as it is to one of the main characters. The fic is dark and f*cked-up, so the squicky pairing reveal shouldn't be an issue -- though it's totally gonna be archived at pairing-specific sites where this point will be mooted. I know I hate cryptic teasers where I don't know who's in the fic and being unclear all through until the reveal at the end... okay, I'll make this easy(er) for you: a poll.
dark fucked-up fic with squicky pairing: tick your personal preferences
It's already a dark and fucked-up fic, so a squicky pairing reveal isn't gonna make a difference. (i.e., go forth and hide the pairing)
It may be a dark and fucked-up fic, but squicky pairing? I wanna be warned for that.
I'll read darkfic only for certain pairings, so I wanna know the pairing in advance.
I never read darkfic, so this is a moot point.
Searching by pairing is super-important, so the pairing needs to be in the header (and thus hiding it from the reader in the fic is moot).
This is a complicated issue that cannot be reduced to ticky boxes.
This is a complicated issue, so I wanna read the fic in question.
and okay, I'll poll the Prufrock question, too
allusions rock! mix it up. keep the Eliot title and the Biblical headings
use Prufrock for the section headings
don't title the sections, you pretentious git
send me the fic so I can decide
And here's the really easy question: Selling a sibling into slavery in order to obtain a powerful position... is there any actual myth of this?