Woke up to bright blue sky and tree looking yellow-green leaves in the light. One would hardly believe wet snow had accumulated yesterday. I went for a brief walk in the afternoon, and it was short-sleeve weather. There were light purple crocuses in Mr. Carver's yard.
Gave my mom a massage tonight -- something I haven't done in ages. I resigned myself some time ago to not getting my hours finished in time to get credit for the course I took over the summer. Working full-time now I really don't have the energy to do it, and it feels more like a chore than something that gives me joy. The school has a chair massage class one weekend in December that I still wanna do, but for now it's not something that on the whole I wanna pursue.
Of course I'm not sure what I do wanna pursue. I've been seriously thinking about taking Continuing Ed courses through Harvard if I get perm. at HBS, with an end goal of teaching high school English, though of course I've gone back and forth on the "teach high school English" plan for years. Layna's been talking recently about things she wants to do with her life, and she's so full of energy and purpose, and all I really wanna do is just be lazy. I know that really it's fine to have a 9-5 office job and that the one I've got is hardly a bad one. It's just that I would really like to have a career/job (that I'm either in or working toward) that I love, and I don't currently know what I would love to be doing, and I like having drive.