Elizabeth Scripturient (the delinquent, ecumenical (hermionesviolin) wrote,
Elizabeth Scripturient (the delinquent, ecumenical
hermionesviolin

CSI rerun: "4 x 4" (5.19)

twiztv.com transcript

I really liked the set-up for this episode -- the four cases in four arcs and the little ways they connected to each other.

ACT 1

(The officers lift the crime scene tape as Grissom ducks under it.  He walks past Officer Metcalf, who drops the tape behind him, a large taco clutched in his other hand.) 
OFFICER METCALF:  This is the best taco I ever had.
GRISSOM:  I'm happy for you both.
First spoken line/s of the episode.

BRASS:  What, did you piss off Ecklie again?  This is a hit-and-run.  I was expecting Greg Sanders.
GRISSOM:  We're slammed.  Everybody's on a case.


GRISSOM:  Is this a Fiero?
BRASS:  Yeah, the old Fiero.  Kind of makes you nostalgic for a "members only" jacket.  Anyway, the Hummer was going the wrong way on a one-way street.  [snip]
GRISSOM:  People who drive $100,000 vehicles don't usually run away from them.
BRASS:  Well, you obviously haven't met any paroled rappers.


(Grissom looks inside the driver's seat and notes the air bag.)
(Camera zooms to show the powder residue on the air bag.  Grissom looks at the air bag.) 
GRISSOM:  Well, at least we know one thing about the driver. 
(Quick flash to:  Slow motion.  The air bag releases and fills as the driver's face slams into the air bag.  End of flash.  Resume to present.) 
GRISSOM:  He's had a face lift.
I think it was Mary Alice who was telling us recently how she'd been in an accident and how hard the airbags hit.
(Grissom walks past a woman.  As Greg and Sara return to the office, Grissom catches a bit of their conversation.) 
GREG:  Sara, I just want you to know that when we were in the shower, I didn't see anything.
(Grissom turns around and watches them go, surprise etched on his face.) 
SARA:  Really?  Gosh, I saw everything.


WILMA SHAW:  Yeah, it was our Hummer ... for all of twenty minutes.
KYLE SHAW:  We ... we won it in a raffle.


VERNON:  Naw, Dawgs, yo, I jacked a 40, not no car, a'ight?
BRASS:  Yeah, a'ight ... One Cent, let's go.
*loves Brass*
BRASS:  So the kid denies jacking the Hummer.  Says he's never even been in one.
GRISSOM:  We matched his blood on the gearshift and on the headband I found in the alley.
BRASS:  And he's skinny, which matches one of the descriptions.  I'm charging him.


(Hodges reports his findings to Grissom.) 

HODGES:  The oily stain you collected from the Hummer's air bag was, ironically
enough, oil.  More specifically, lard. 

GRISSOM:  It looks like there's tissue fibers mixed into it.

HODGES:  Several different types, actually, so I ran an ELISA to differentiate.  Pork, beef, chicken and possibly human flesh.  A real taste treat.  It's all been cooked up, so I doubt we'll get any DNA.
(As he talks, something occurs to Grissom.) 
HODGES:  What are you thinking about?
GRISSOM:  Tacos.


BRASS:  Let me get this straight, Larry.  An old man refuses to let you steal his money, so you jack a Hummer and try to run over his taco stand?
LAWRENCE LAFONTAINE:  (sighs)  Maybe.
GRISSOM:  I think this is the dumbest thing we've ever heard.


ACT 2

CATHERINE:  Well, Warrick found several used condoms at the scene.  Killer must have run out, and started riding bareback.
ROBBINS:  Eh, I'm not sure he rode anything at all.  There's an absence of trauma in the vaginal cavity.
CATHERINE:  Enough to rule out rape?
ROBBINS:  Yeah.  The semen was found at a depth not indicative of penile penetration.  In this case, only a couple inches in.
CATHERINE:  Maybe that's all the killer had to work with.


WARRICK: She was found dead this morning.
DONNY DRUMMER: No. Come on, she's over there working the Daluca account.
DET. VARTANN: You didn't hear?
DONNY DRUMMER: There's two million square feet of exhibits here, man. Forty thousand people. This place is a mini-city. That RV exhibit's across town.


MR. DALUCA:  Oh!  Okay.  Who gets the first ride?
(Mr. Daluca laughs.  Lisa smiles and crawls over to him.  He looks at her.)
MR. DALUCA:  If I wanted someone your age, I'd do my wife.
Youch.  Her roommate's really put off by his suggestion ("Look, I'm not a hooker.  All I do is these conventions.  So when a big baller like Mr. Daluca comes into town and offers us a little cash to hang out, I'm with it.") but she totally goes for it.  Definitely establishing that she's desperate.  How long are sperm motile, anyway?
MR. DALUCA:  She puts my baby inside her, hey, quickie retirement plan.
DET. VARTANN:  You know, I can't think of a better reason for a man to kill a woman.
MR. DALUCA:  If I'd have killed her, you think I'd put her in my own motorcoach, and then present it at an unveiling ceremony that I was announcing?


DONNY DRUMMER: Lisa was a nothing. Old news. Why would I risk everything for a zero like her?
WARRICK: For that exact reason, 'cause she was a "nothing" to you.
DONNY DRUMMER: That's a good story. You find that in one of your forensic journals?
WARRICK: No, but when I match your DNA, I'll make sure you're on the cover. Cuff him.


ACT 3

Zomg Greg... teh snazzy in that grey suit.
GWEN: He said he had a headache. But I mean, he was training really, really hard, so he was probably just tired.
DETECTIVE CAVALIERE: Or gay.
GWEN: I don't know. I don't care. I mean, just lying back on that bench and sweating and pushing the weight with all of his muscle right there I mean, it, it was totally ... motivating.
(Gotta love that him just not being interested in her isn't even mentioned as an option.)

GREG: This guy's a poster child for self-love.
SARA: Maybe that's why they went for the face.
[snip]
DAVID PHILLIPS: Maybe it was a post-mortem blow.


     GREG: Maybe our vic was putting the smack in "smackdown."


When that dark blue liquid oozed out of the eye I actually thought it was a bug at first.

Nice tattoo, Sara.

GRISSOM: Well, anyone who appears this narcissistic may prefer paying for hookers rather than wasting his love on a girlfriend.
What happened to the body, though?
GREG: This is just like that Edgar Allen Poe story where the victim's heart under the floorboards betrays the murder.
GRISSOM: "The Tell-Tale Heart." I thought you didn't like reading the classics.
GREG: I do when they're about dismembered bodies.
(Grissom smiles.)
They really like "The Tell-Tale Heart," huh?

ACT 4

     NICK: Shake, and bake.
Ew.

I've totally seen the kid who plays Andy before.
I thought it was on CSI, but poking tv.com and IMDb it's actually Without a Trace ("Safe" 4.02 -- which I saw in rerun this past December.)
ANDY: This tastes horrible.
CHASE RYAN: Just keep drinking. It must get better.


Nick (to Hodges): Talk to me, Goose.
Bzuh?
tv.com tells me it's a reference to Top Gun.

HODGES: Well, according to tox, junior was a boozer. BAC three times the legal limit.
NICK: Yeah, the, uh, teenage sister had a kegger.
HODGES: How old were you when you first got drunk?
NICK: Oh, 16, 17.
HODGES: Amortized over a generation, 12's about right?
NICK: So your saying, two generations from now, four-year-olds are just gonna be getting trashed?
HODGES: Pre-school graduation parties are going to be off the hook.


JARED (MANAGER): I didn't know if he was dead or not.
NICK: Bus bench. Hospital. I could see how you could make the mistake.
JARED (MANAGER): You have any idea what the liability would be on something like that?
NICK: (shakes his head) Uh-uh. But I'll let you know.
JARED (MANAGER): I was just hoping that somebody would find him and take care of him.
CUT TO:
NICK: Hey ... (Nick leans forward) You found him. You put him in the dryer.
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY]
(Andy shakes his head.)
ANDY JONES: Mm-mm. Mm-hmm.
(Nick nods.)
NICK: Mm-hmm. Chase can't even lock himself inside those things. They lock from the outside.
(Mrs. Jones looks at Andy.)
NICK: And I matched your print on the handle. I got it off your school's safe kit.
(Andy looks at his mom. He turns to Nick.)
ANDY: He asked me to.
Nice segue.

Also: he was drunk! You don't take orders from drunk people. Especially not when they're asking you to do something so utterly stupid.
MRS. JONES: (crying) You put your best friend in a ... in a dryer, and you turned it on, and you just walked away? What is wrong with you?
(Andy throws up on the table.)


GRISSOM: Tough shift, huh?
NICK: Just another day in paradise.
Tags: tv: csi: episodes, tv: csi: episodes: s5
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