Elizabeth Scripturient (the delinquent, ecumenical (hermionesviolin) wrote,
Elizabeth Scripturient (the delinquent, ecumenical

  • Music:

"the man behind the counter looks like he's got a half a dozen places he'd rather be"

Eric, to me (upon seeing my jacket on the back of my chair): "I love that you're rocking the 80's jean jacket, with the unicorn patch."  He said it seemed very not me, but then conceded that he doesn't really know me outside of work.  [We have in fact almost never interacted outside of work.]

Later he borrowed my computer and was surprised by my desktop image.  "It's a gay teddy bear," I said; "How is it not me?"  He said he didn't think of me as a cutesie girl, which is absolutely true.  (Though I do still have my Sears Winnie the Pooh that was an early first birthday present.)

Cailin came by just then and was all "It just has a rainbow; it isn't necessarily gay," and I explained that it is the gay bear from Vermont Teddy Bear company, conceding that rainbows don't necessarily mean something's gay (which is actually something I argue in other venues, but I was uncomfortable here because here I wanted it to signify gay).  Not that she's homophobic at all, but it seemed very clear to me that she was reading me as straight and the gay bear as thus incongruous, and I really badly wanted to come out right then but I couldn't come up with a way to say it.  (I am uber-coward, plus I was calling it a gay bear -- I realized later I should have said Pride bear -- and I don't at all want to identify as "gay" because that elides the liking-males part like whoa, so I think my brain got stuck.  Oy.  I so fail.)

Eric had come up to our floor helping Alyssa carry a batch of photocopying back to her desk, but no one was around so he ended up sticking around chatting with us (Alyssa, me, Cailin, Mary Alice).  He was talking politics with Mary Alice for a while which of course made me uncomfortable (in part because I haven't been keeping abreast of stuff enough to argue any side) but then she went home (she leaves at 4) and he and I kept talking and it was substantive comfortable conversation -- y'know, like one has with real people.  At one he mentioned how now that he's taking his pills (his phrase) again he actually has an attention span.  I'm a big fan.


Today I:
+ bought Astonishing #17
+ almost forgot to obtain parking permits but thankfully it's on my way home, so those got obtained
+ bought groceries
+ did laundry
++ (during the wash cycle: bought more groceries, during the dry cycle: read more of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man -- not a fan, btw)
+ [in progress] ate something resembling dinner
+ [next on the agenda] watched CSI

Also on the agenda:
+ do the dishes
+ order boots from Payless
Tags: coming out, people: h: eric

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