Anyway, off I went this morning (9:45am appt.). We got a significant amount of work done, but there's totally gonna be a redux. She has to put a thing in the side of my mouth to keep my mouth open (which I endorse) which combined with the dams to keep the worked-on tooth dry, means I have lots of stuff in my mouth, and swallowing is awkward, plus I salivate a lot, and it's just not good, plus there's pain sometimes.
Usually the procedure only takes ~90min., but because my mouth is so small she has difficulty getting into the canals, so we definitely weren't done. I took a pee break and was initially willing to do another round 'cause I'd taken the day off work and all and wasn't really excited about having to do that again, but we started again and pretty soon I had her stop. Psychologically I was just so done with it. I felt like a cop-out, but I decided that I was doing the good and healthy thing, listening to my body/brain and not pushing too far. [So now I have a temporary cap (again) and a warning that the tooth may be sensitive since they've taken out a lot of its interior tissue. And I'll be in touch about scheduling a followup to hopefully finish this in another 90 minutes. She did manage to use other tools so she didn't have to make me gag with the picture-taking stick.]
I started crying as I walked to the bus stop and was still crying waiting for the bus, and I honestly can't quite place why 'cause it didn't feel related to the feelings of failure or weakness or the frustration of having to do this again. I could blame it on being hormonal (as has become my wont recently). I actually haven't had a good cry in quite some time.
However, I came home and saw the landlord hacking out the slabs of ice in front of the house. (When I came down later to put out some garbage I saw it was a far from complete job, but tomorrow it's supposed to get above freezing, so that should help.
And my Lands' End socks came. And I had 9 new LJ comments, plus an e-mail. (Plus I owe a response to a glee e-mail from last night.)
I feel a little staggery, which I'm blaming on the Ativan. This plus the ice has not made me feel energized to do the errands I'd been hoping to tack on to the end of the day. [Clearly I was not going in to work today.] I am up for Worcester, though. And somehow it has become almost time for me to leave for there. Adieu.